the sky is falling

In the south of Israel, it feels like the sky is falling.

I do not believe in war, I do not believe in excessive force as a solution to conflict. Which is exactly why I think I need to write this. I am liberal and I am under attack. I want to be defended and I want to feel safe but I know that in this situation my army and my government do not have a way to defend me that does not put Palestinian civilians in danger. Retaliations against rockets from Gaza put Palestinian civilians in the same place that I am in right now. So maybe this is my story but maybe this is their story, too.

The south of Israel is under attack, and depending on which specific area you look at, it has been raining rockets for years. But for the last month, life here has been unpredictable and unstable, never knowing when an alarm might sounds and we all might have to run- to the nearest safe space, which is not always a very safe space- sometimes it’s down 2 flights of stairs or just in a bathroom. When you get there- whether you’re with family, friends, alone or with coworkers, everyone just waits, quietly, because you have to hear the boom- that’s the only way to know that the physical danger has passed, for the moment. And when it has passes- and you’re safe- you ask, where are my family members, friends? Are they safe? And if they are safe, then who isn’t? Because the rocket fell somewhere, close. So I’m OK and my people are OK but someone out there isn’t.

Then we usually hear, thank god, that there were no injuries- just a few people suffering from “shock”. This is one of the most insulting assessments that we hear about the rocket attacks on the South. Because FUCK YOU if you think that a 7 year old that reverts to wetting the bed is normal or adults that jump in terror every time a door slams are not injured. Children and adults all over the south are suffering from shock and PTSD symptoms that can render you unable to function at times. The effect of these attacks is that even when you are safe, you feel like you are constant physical danger.

Others have to adapt by using denial as a defense mechanism- its OK, we’re fine, we’ll be fine, the kid are fine. But I get it- because what else can you do? A rocket hit a fucking school bus outside of our kibbutz the other day, and a 16 year old child was put in critical condition. But the people of the kibbutz can’t leave, can’t move- their lives are here, their kids are in school here. So we have to be fine.

I have to go out and go to work. I have to do so knowing that it could put me in danger. I am innocent- I have done nothing to instigate or provoke this. I am liberal, I believe in peace and I am under attack.

I write today in pain. My partner and I are anxious and scared. Last night we spent a few great, carefree hours in Tel Aviv with friends. I had more than a few drinks and we laughed, chatted, met people and had fun. But then we came home and at 2 am he heard a siren, warning us of incoming rockets. We weren’t sure where it was- on the moshav, or just near by but we got out of bed, shaking and ran to the bathroom. We stood there, held each other and waited. We waited in silence until we heard the booms of the rocket falling somewhere. Then we waited a little more and went back to bed. Today there is more silence- and news of more rockets.

This is just our story- those who live closer to Gaza have much harder stories to tell. They get rocket warning sirens all the time and they get text messages tell them to stay inside for hours at a time, their communities get shut down until danger has passed. Then they go on with life- and then sometimes they don’t get warnings in time and rockets fall while their kids are outside playing at the playground.

The sky is falling in the south of Israel. The sky is falling in Gaza. In Tel Aviv, people my age are carefree and relaxed. In the Knesset, everyone is looking to keep a tight grip on their political seats. In the Hamas headquarters, they load more rocket launchers. In the Israeli army, they gear up for more offensive/defensive missions. On our moshav, we sit and sip coffee and refresh the homepage of our local news site, scared shitless.

Calling it like I see it: Sammi and Ronnie

Don’t judge me, but I am a HUGE fan of the reality show, Jersey Shore. Not only because I’m from Jersey, but also because it is pure, raw, guilty pleasure, entertainment. After a hard day, I would curl up on the couch with a glass of Ron-Ron Juice and shut my brain off to watch the kids in the Jersey Shore fist bump, creep and smush their way to Herpes-ville. I love the lingo,  the tans, the steroids, the gorillas and the laundry.

But what I don’t love is watching what has been happening between Sammi and Ronnie for the last two seasons. Put aside for a moment the different times they cheated or didn’t cheat on each other, because the truths or lies of those facts are completely irrelevant. Sammi and Ronnie are enacting and reenacting (in a very real way, I fear) the same dating violence that often leads to broken families, broken bones and fatalities. I don’t think it’s funny or entertaining to watch them fall down into this spiral of violence with all of the determining factors that go along with identifying dating/domestic violence. I think it is even worse to watch the other Jersey Shore housemates watch this happen, sometimes quite literally with popcorn and a beer, as if it was happening on a movie screen and not to their friends in their house. Perhaps the constant fighting and yelling, the cycle of angst and anger and explosions all hit just too close to home for me, having spiraled around and around this track myself for a few years, but for me, watching this relationship unravel is just disturbing.

I don’t think that young people see how dating violence develops. I know I didn’t. One of the things I am most proud of in the work I do professionally is an amazing seminar we offer for high school and middle school students on dating violence. We start off by talking about dating- what are the things you do with someone you like, or have a crush on? Kids answer- you go on dates, you compliment them, you do romantic things like picnics and candle-lit dinners, you buy each other gifts, hug, kiss, etc. After listing these qualities of dating on the white board, our talented discussion leaders ask: When you think of the question in terms of dating violence, which of these qualities on the board need to be erased? The correct answer: none of them. Dating violence includes all of the love, romance, presents and special dates that a healthy relationship does, which is why it is so hard to see past confusion when the anger and violence spike briefly in between compliments, romance and kisses.

With alcoholism in his family and a very short fuse, the Shore’s Ronnie should probably quit the bottle immediately and shove his fists up his ass, if he can think of nothing nice to do with them. His behavior is one of a douche bag with 4 multiple personalities- a regular douche, a douche in love, a douche who cries, and a douche who hits people. His classic pull-in, hug-you, push-you-away, explode, cry, beg, plead and pull-you-in again routine is classic abuser behavior. I believe that at this point, the emotional, verbal and physical violence between Sammi and Ronnie is mutually instigated, although clearly there are influencing factors such as alcohol, double standards, the situation being a drama queen and Ron-Ron being a 4 times Sammi’s size that prove the playing field to be uneven. I believe that Sammi had a moment of clarity when she left the show mid-season, citing the craziness and that she couldn’t heal while being around him. Unfortunately, they are both completely addicted to the turmoil at this point, and so are we as viewers.

I don’t have a solution. A woman (or man) stuck in that spiral of violence with a partner can only leave when they are ready. I hope that Sammi doesn’t get pregnant and does get into therapy. I hope that Ronnie gets off the pills and booz and gets some help. I hope that maybe if anything good comes of this disgusting spectacle (and I not referring to America seeing Snookie’s kooka) it will be if a viewer can see some of herself in Sammi and get out before it gets worse.

Bitch, Unleashed

If there is one thing that pisses me off in Israel it is owners who let their dogs roam around outside alone and without a leash. In cities, as well as on kibbutz or in the moshav, you can always see large and small dogs just mozying around like they own the place. When its a tiny little pincher dog, the worst case scenario is that the little piece of shit will high-pitch-bark you to death. But when I see a Bull Dog or Boxer, or some kind of a German Shepherd mix coming my way while I’m walking Jersey, I get genuinely scared.

More than a few times, during a simple walk with my gorgeous gray pup on his pink leash, Jersey has been attacked by these teeth-bearing, barking, biting asshole dogs. But the thing is, that these dogs have collars, and tags and in all cases an owner who lives in the neighborhood. These dogs don’t look hungry or tired or dehydrated- they have a home, these dogs have owners who are just as big an asshole as they are.

Letting your dog out alone to roam my streets is irresponsible – if you adopted or bought a dog, then you agreed to take care of it. That includes feeding it and walking it. If you had no intention of taking proper care o f the dog, you should not have taken it in. This ride dog-owner behavior is also annoying- I often have to end my walk early because I see a dog I want to avoid, or I have to leave an outdoor event because of a stray dog starting trouble with Jersey- with no owner in the picture, I am the only one there who can take responsibility of the situation and make sure no one gets hurt.

But more than that, it is dangerous to leave dogs unattended in the streets. With one bite, a dog can kill my little Jersey. But old dogs can be crazy, all it takes is a split second and a dog can tweak out and bite a dog, a kid, or an adult. I think that owners who let their big dogs go stray should be fined and prosecuted as if their dog has already attacked- because who knows how many days have been ruined, how many walks have been cut short or how many innocent little adorable Jerseys have been terrified by this menacing dog, and it’s not the dog’s fault, it’s the responsibility of the owner.

I leave you with this sad and hilarious story: After a few bad run-ins with aggressive dogs, jersey and I were on a walk in my cousin’s neighborhood in Yavne, a residential small street in a residential, small suburb town. It’s quiet and Jersey and I are enjoying our walk in the sun when all of a sudden, out of nowhere we hear barking and growling over our heads. We look up and we see a huge dog, climbing a fence to get to us. Well, Jersey and I  ain’t no dog’s fool. We took off running like our asses were on fire. When I got across the street, I looked back and saw that the dog was still barking, but he couldn’t make it over the fence. So Jers and I slowed down and my poor poor baby dog, so scared and so startled walks over to a tree, lifts his leg to take a piss and starts to shit in the air. I swear. He literally did not know whether to piss or shit.

Please keep your dogs on a leash. Thank you.

I am a wuss

Oh My Blog! Where have you been?

It’s been WAY too long since my last blog post. I should be ashamed of myself.

So where have I been? Well, since my move down south and after an awesome trip to NJ and Florida, I started a new job in a rape and domestic violence crisis center, working on violence prevention education.

During the day, I have been busting my ass, getting to know a new job, an amazingly talented staff and an intense, emotionally challenging subject matter.

So that means that in the evenings I have been exhausted, physically and emotionally. Most days I find myself curled up in the fetal position on the couch by 8pm and asleep by 10.

To recap the time that has passed, here are the conclusions I have come to over the last few weeks:

1- I am really lucky to have an amazing partner. There was a time in my not so distant past when I thought that fighting, defending myself, pleading and crying was a way of life. I thought it was normal. I’ve changed since then and so have my choices. I have chosen and been lucky to have been chosen by an amazing partner who is patient, kind, giving and fun. He is not afraid of my demons, my past or even what I look like when I’ve had the flu for a week. He thinks I am strong and beautiful. That is the way life should be. (Dear Lord, Please do not let this be my Sandra Bullock moment.)

2- The women who work in rape crisis and domestic violence support are the strongest women in the world. Rape and incest survivors are the bravest women in the world. Survivors who get help and tell their stories and heal are amazing to me. The work never ends. But I consider myself so lucky to be in the presence of such strength and bravery all day long. I am in awe of woman’s spirit to survive and empower others.

So while I might not post as often as I used to when I was singing the secretary blues or working in social networking online all day, trust that I am spending every day doing my utmost to leave this world a better place for women and girls when I eventually go.

In the meantime, here are some awesome things you can check out:

1- Like There’s No Away, my baby bro and soon-to-be-sista-in-law’s blog. They are brilliant people who care about the world and want to share their environmental experimental lovely fun life with you. I’ve already gotten some amazing tips from them for my new Negev life. Enjoy!

2- The good old Big Felafel. My girls had babies, so don’t blame them if their blog is now a bit baby-focused. They’re back with more awesome posts on how to score great deals in Israel and reviewing the newest “mexican” restaurants.

3- Jezebel: an angry girl pop culture and media site. I love it. It’s rude and a little feminist and chock full of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan.

4- And should you chose to get off the net, READ A DAMN BOOK by Chelsea Handler. She is my favorite comedian, I love the show, I recently saw her live for my birthday in NJ and she is pee in your pants hilarious. After starting work at a rape crisis center I decided to lay off of the dark and twisty books before bed, since I already have quite enough dark and twisty all day long. I picked up Chelsea’s first masterpiece, My Horizontal Life, and now I have a different kind of nightmare- the hilarious kind. It’s rude, it’s sick, it’s hilarious and you know you’ll love it, girl!

I am a country bumpkin

Who knew? Nearly a month into my new life and it turns out I am cutest country girl!

I love my new big house and my back yard. Every morning I drink my coffee in the sun, and in the evenings I enjoy the breeze while I watch the dog curiously sniff the little trees in the yard. Jersey doesn’t get it. He’s a city dog- he goes out onto the patio and just sits there and only goes into the yard when prompted. He prefers to pee on the garbage cans instead of on the grass. We’re working on it.

But me- I’m a natural. I take walks to collect dry leaves in my bucket for my little backyard compost. I can’t wait to plant a garden. I love all the space and all the nature. I don’t mind that I don’t have a mall nearby, because I have tractors that drive by my house! I don’t miss the city smells (hot garbage mixed w/ homeless urine) because I have a new smell: cows! My new home sits in an agricultural village (moshav) and as it turns out, aside from the fields in the great view from my backyard, we have at least 4 cow sheds/dairy farms! The smell is not as bad as you might think. Don’t get me wrong, every now and then, when the cows have an extremely big lunch and the wind blows in just the right direction, the noxious fumes reach my windows, but you really get used to the usual, daily aromas. Usually, you don’t smell anything at all except nature. But the cow smells that are around, they blend into the nature smells. Yum!

No traffic, no horns honking, no yelling. The small price I pay: occasional ants and flies. I’ll take it.

Working part-time from home and looking for work in my spare time has been awesome for my while I get to know my new surroundings. I have time to explore. I have found these great outdoor exercise machines in the main area of the moshav. Anyone can use them and they are built two by two, so they make for a fun date- being outside, getting a work out, me and boo together, with Jersey, chillin in the grass next to us. Perfect family fun. We have a small general store on the moshav. It sells everything you could need- just enough. No horns honking, no traffic.

Here, I have the space to explore new parts of me- I have started to compost, and you wouldn’t believe how excited I get about garbage! It’s made me more aware of the food I put in my body and the waste I put in the bin. A good friend in a nearby city introduced me to a community-organized recycling center, garden and coffee shop that has classes on gardening and environmental issues. Unfortunately, I drive more than I used to, since I cannot walk to do any of my major errands, but I hope that once I get used to this lifestyle and save some money, I can see how I can be smarter about my fuel use. Being out here has connected me more to my surroundings, the earth, the environment. I’m sure I can’t do everything right, off the bat, but I am so much more conscious and open than I was before and that is a great start.

Mostly, I love the quiet. That is what I loved about Thailand, the quiet that allows you to think, relax, breath. The stress of life has a chance to subside for the time that I am staring out into the fields behind my house. On the moshav, the priorities are different- family, friends, nature, calm. I love these priorities- they make room for the good things in life like walking the dog, playing the guitar, dancing in your living room and having friends over for dinner.

So, when are you coming over for dinner?

Mission: Oprah

You’re reading this blog right now, which implies that you already know what I am about to tell you: I love Oprah. I quote her like a guru, I talk about her like she’s my friend. I use Oprah-isms in my daily language to the point where my Israeli sweetheart, thinks that shlumpadinka and Vajayjay are real English words.

Since you’ve already read my Life List, you know that #1 on my list is seeing Oprah. Last time I was in Chi Town, in addition to all of the fun, another amazing friend who was living in Chicago at the time, via NY and on her way to join me in Israel, Ravit took me on a pilgrimage to Harpo studios. Harpo was closed but I was so elated just to be there, I took pictures by the sign and since I carried my O magazine from that month all over Chicago with me, I even took a picture with the Oprah on the magazine cover in front of the empty ghost town building. That was enough for me then. I was thrilled.

But #1 on my life list is the real deal. I want to see Oprah in person, I want to sit in the audience.

Then I got the news: Oprah is ending her show. I’m sad but understand her reasons. And since I’ve not yet stayed at a job for longer than 3 years, I can’t begin to imagine how hard and crucial that decision must have been. Personally, though, I can’t imagine a world without the Oprah Show. But it also means something else: I have just one chance to get up close and personal with Mama Oprah.

In late November, I am going to New Jersey with my Boo to spend Thanksgiving with my family, to be with amazing friends at their love-infused wedding and to road trip it to Chicago, to visit my wonderful friend, Dr. Eva. Like Oprah and Gayle, Boo and I are going to sign and annoy each other across the country all the way to Chicago from New Jersey.

We can’t wait to spend my 29th birthday weekend in Chi Town on Dr. E’s red carpet ride but there is one more goal on this trip- I want to meet Oprah. I want to sit in the audience of the Oprah Show. I want to at least tour the studio. I want to get closer to the lady and the legend. Oprah has taught me so much, I want to meet my teacher, and walk through the hallways of the school.

Recently and not for the first time, I put a dream of mine into the universe, and the universe answered. Oprah taught me that. So I’m doing it again:

My dear friends and blog readers, please help me get to Oprah. We can do this, together. I check the Oprah website every day to see if the reservations window is open, but no luck yet. I’m going to try to get tickets the legitimate way, but I need your help. If all of the people I know and love contact all of the people they know and love, surely we can find a way to get me to Oprah. So let’s do this. Knowing me, it’ll be like Chicago Jewish Geography at first- who knows a Jew in the great windy city who knows Jew that can get me to Oprah. Then it will expand until eventually, I find myself in the audience of the Oprah Show.  I have faith. I’m putting it on my vision board. It will happen. Please contact me if you have any leads, or know of anything I can do to get Oprah Show tickets for early December.

Oh, and universe, I’s like to thank you in advance for your cooperation on this matter.

 

See you soon, Mama Oprah!

 

 

Life List

Here, for all eyes to see, is a list that holds the plans, the dreams, the stuff I want to do in my life time. My Life List, formerly Bucket List, but inspired by a friend to focus on life rather than some deadline of kicking the bucket. Creating this list has been inspirational. I cannot wait to get started and in some way, over the years, I have gotten started. I have already made aliyah, been to Thailand as a gift to myself after my divorce (please note, “get a divorce” was not on the list. But in my defense, neither was “get married”. so there’s that), adopted a dog and named him Jersey, worked in the Israeli Parliament and worked in a women’s movement. These were all things that I once said, “I want to do that.”

Here is the running, changing, growing list of the things I want to do and see before I kick it while I live and breath:

1. See The Oprah Show live.  Or at least go on a tour of the studio. I gotta get closer to my other Mother, Oprah. I know I have a small window for this, but I love Mama Oprah and she is taping her last season now and I will be in Chicago in early December. I want to be in Oprah’s audience so badly, I can feel it. So I’m working on it.
2. Travel the world. This sounds like a huge, lofty plan, but the truth is, that this is what I am working for. One day, I want to pack up my things, put them in storage and go off to see the world.
3. Relax in Hawaii for at least 3 weeks
4. Smoke weed in Jamaica (Let’s just be honest. If not on this list, then where?)
5. Spend a lot of time back in Thailand
6. Spend my time traveling to help women and girls around the world who are trafficked or enslaved in sex work. If you haven’t read Half the Sky, make it a priority.
7. Back pack South America- and get to Brazil for Carnival
8. See fashion in Japan
9. See Alaska, even though its cold there.
10. Travel Africa-  Experience the music and the cultures in South Africa and beyond
11. Learn to Scuba Dive
12. Bunjee Jump, once.
13. Find a way to fly First Class only between the US and Israel/Own private jet (a girl can dream!)
14. Head up a women’s movement that improves the lives of women and girls
15. Sing live with a band, in front of a crowd, at least once a year.
16. Run a partial marathon, run a race just in the name of being healthy
17. Go on a wine and cheese tour of Europe, without counting calories
18. Write a book that makes people think, with a forward by Elizabeth Gilbert
19. Take cooking classes
20. Take a course in Thai Massage with Omri
21. Sustain working out 4 times a week as a permanent part of my weekly schedule
22. Learn to Salsa Dance
23. Continue to fight to see the day when all of my friends- LGBTQ, straight or whatever- can marry (if they want to) and have children or adopt easily and freely.

What’s on your list? I’d love to hear about them

Southward Bound

Ever since my great escape to Thailand, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the things that will make me happy in life, and the changes that I need to make, to get myself there. I know that life is full of ups and downs and other stuff in between. I am getting better at sitting back and enjoying the ride. But if I learned one thing in Thailand, it’s that peace of mind and calm are actually within reach- and for those words to come out of my mouth, now that is pretty close to a miracle.

The first suggestion of this came when I was leaving my ex-husband-  I realized that it was possible to live a life in which the screaming, crying and turmoil were not a daily occurrence. The relief and peace, since leaving, has been more than all the pain I felt previously. In Thailand I learned that all it takes is a 50 minute Thai massage to make you forget that last night you slept under a mosquito net in a room with more holes than wood panels in the walls- and not because it’s romantic to do so. When I got back to Jerusalem, hustling, bustling, construction site of a polarized politicized holy city and the two jobs that awaited me here, my stress levels sky rocketed. For the first time I thought, this cannot be it for me- the stress.

I have always known that I manage stress with the ease and grace of a bull in a china shop. But I never considered that reducing the stress might be different than settling. I don’t want to slow life down by settling for simpler work or stopping things I love- volunteering, working out or writing. I did manage to get my work hours down to nearly just above full time and from the 3 cell phones I once had, I now have one, my beloved Blackberry which also helps me stay organized and in touch without losing my mind. I like working in high pressure jobs- activism, action, perhaps an arrest or a good old fashion political march, complete with counter protesters. The jobs never seemed like the source of the stress. I looked further and when I saw the backdrop- a city overflowing with tension, a culture overly eager to express aggression, a political story line that would make anyone with a conscience more than a little dizzy with despair. So I’m keeping my career but I’m moving out.

In November, I will pack up my things and after 6 years of life in Jerusalem, 6 apartments in 5 different neighborhoods and too many #18 bus rides to count, I am leaving the holy city for good. I am moving to Israel’s beautiful, open, southern region- the Negev. I have rented a house, which I will share with my patient, loving, dreamboat of a boyfriend. A HOUSE! After 2+ years of living in a 4th floor walk-up with barely 2 rooms, and 10 years of apartment life, I will have a single-standing house, in an agricultural village 10 minutes by car from the closest city. I will have a garden where I grown my vegetables. I will have a driveway where I keep garbage cans, separated properly for recycling. I will collect my shower and sink water and use it to water my plants. I will do other things to live more responsibly and be in closer contact with the earth, life. I will host dinner parties, have BBQs, and all of my friends from Israel and abroad will be welcomed to stay in my GUEST ROOM. That’s right friends. Not only do I have a guest room/workout room/office, but I have 2 air condition units, electric window shutters and screens on ALL of my windows! This may sound like simple obvious amenities to Americans, but we Israelis, especially immigrants, know that having attained this is no small feat. I have finally made it. Movin’ on up!

I hope the move will help me lower stress and enjoy life a bit more- but also, I hope it frees up some mind-power to continue working hard on some good causes. I want to volunteer, and I’ll be looking for an additional part-time job- writing, maybe social networking or organizing for a great community, or movement.

Also, I’ve been working on building my bucket list! Coming soon…

No Phone Zone

‘Cause Oprah said so.

I know I have a complicated relationship with Oprah. But I really do love her. The #1 thing on my bucket list is to see her show when I am in Chicago this winter. I must see Oprah. I must.

Last season, Mama O took on a campaign that changed the way I think about driving. The truth is, that I always talked on my cell phone while driving- well, not always considering when I was 17 all I had was a beeper. Throughout the past few years since the cell phone era took over, whenever I did have a car- a rental or my own before some ass-face rear-ended me and sent me a-flyin’ over the median- I used a bluetooth ear piece or speaker phone (only to avoid the ticket) and I never hesitated to answer a quick text message.

Then I saw the Oprah Show episode about the deadly effects of texting and talking on the cell phone while driving. Did you know that driving while texting or taking on the phone is as dangerous if not more dangerous than driving while drunk? It’s true. Celebrities took her pledge to make their car a No Phone Zone, but that isn’t what got me. I listened while parents told how they lost their children’s lives because someone sent a text message (SMS for us cool expats) while driving. One driver told how he became a double murderer by simply answering a text message. I can still feel the goosebumps on my skin while a mother talks about seeing her daughter’s mangled bicycle on the side of the road- all because the driver of an SUV took their eyes off the road for a second- their mind was on the cell phone instead of seeing and registering the child in the street, bike-riding. In one second, lives are ruined.  After seeing that episode, I knew that not only could I never again make my phone a priority over road safety, but I could not take part in anyone else taking that same chance.

I just bought a car. It is small, cute and Euro-trashy. My car is a no phone zone. My boyfriend is a No Phone Zone man when he drives my car. I also no longer talk on the phone with people while they are driving. My mother, who calls me often from the road, since the seven-hour time difference between our two countries makes it very hard to find convenient time to talk, is no longer allowed to call me from the car. Not on a bluetooth, not on speaker phone, not one text message. No more lives will be lost, if I can help it.

I do not want to be on the phone with you while you- God forbid- get into that accident. I will not be a part of this dangerous game anymore- especially not with the people I love. I tell my friends, taxi drivers and everyone I meet that I will not ride in the car with them if they are going to be on the phone- texting or talking. They often do not take it seriously and I have to admit that it infuriates me. My life (and your own) is meaningless to you, if you cannot put down your phone and just focus on the road. I do not need a ride and we do not need to get to where we are going, if you cannot put down that phone. It is NOT OK. You are NOT good at it. You canNOT handle it. No one can and no one should.

So, however late- Israel gets Oprah Show episodes a few months behind the rest of the free world- PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO. Please, please, please stop texting and talking on your cell phones while driving. Make a commitment: Take the No Phone Zone pledge. It is not worth the lives lost. I don’t want to lose you to this stupid, selfish behavior. If my Blackberry can wait, then your Blackberry can wait. Your friends and your boss can wait. Hundreds of dollars in fines or tickets is nothing compared to killing someone on the road or losing your own life.

I love you. Make your car a No Phone Zone today.

Love yourself. Make your car a No Phone Zone today.

Mentor Me

Life just led me to an unexpected and exciting new opportunity- or should I say a combination of hard work, universe weirdness and mentors led me there.

So even though a lot of my writing goes off on nasty politics, rude Israelis and aggressive men, I dedicate this blog post to the wonderful women in my life.

Every once in a while a woman comes in your life and sees something in you. Maybe its a little bit of herself, maybe its someone else she once knew, or maybe its a potential you- or the great future the world holds for you. I have had  times in my life when I could not see the future as bright, because I was stuck in a dark place- in school, in my career and in my personal life- and it has been the strong women in my life that have pulled me through.

My mom, the mentor of all mentors, does this to everyone around her but of all her ment-ees, she loves me the most. My mom is the kind of person you call on for anything and everything- because she’s multi-talented and she’s really good at talking things out. If the answer you’re looking for is somewhere in you, which it usually is, she’ll help you find it. In my book, she knows everything. To this day, she proofreads my work and I call her for random questions that pop up at work.  She always shows up, she’ll take you out when you’re down, she’ll help you organize your house because it’ll make you feel better, she’ll take pictures of your happy moments and send them to you in an album, she’ll cook you an amazing meal and share the recipe secrets. She’s the ultimate mentor and bestee- and I wouldn’t be where I am if she hadn’t coached me through years of homework (2nd grade- current).

Many of my other mentors have been friends, professors and colleagues:

The friend who told me I should check out Twitter, and whoever sent me my first invitation to Facebook,  created a monster, a nerd, a blogger and social networker.

My best friends taught me how to put on makeup, tweez my eyebrows. Nobody hires a crazy uni-brow lady.

A professor who barely knew me put applications for a Women’s Studies major and the Institute for Women’s Leadership in my hand and changed the course of my life forever.

Women who believe in me enough to make recommendations, write letters, make phone calls on my behalf  have helped me get jobs where I can make a difference and do work that feels meaningful.

I owe you one… or ten.

A little too willing to volunteer or put in the extra hour,  I have done my part to get me to where I am, seeing opportunity even in non-paying grunt work, and the occasional secretary gig, as long as I am surrounded by people and causes I believe in.

Then there is the universe. Just when you think you’ve made a plan that could work, with all of the pieces in place, God laughs and you find yourself somewhere else completely. Usually my reaction is to cry, call my mom, get mad, call my friends, calm down, get mad, calm down and then start planning again. But without my mom and my mentors, I’d be a manic mess full of plans. Then there are those rare times, the calm times, when you put something out to the universe- somewhere you’d like to be someday or a person you’d like to work with. And before you know it, the opportunity is staring you in the face. It’s not luck, I don’t accept that. It’s openness, believing in yourself, putting the work in, having friends and mentors not afraid to stick their neck out for you.  It is a cosmic combination of good energy and good people- but I have to be the one not afraid to wish for it, hop on for the ride- and work hard all the time.

So though I have been known to rag on the citizens of the world for annoying attributes ranging from apathy to body odor, there are some people on this damn planet that I just couldn’t do without. Just one more testament to importance of sisterhoods, girlfriends (and boyfriends and transfriends) and the great big universe.

My hope for my future is that I get the opportunity to mentor some great women, and that I can give back as much as I get from the great, awesome women that surround me!