Just when you think I’m a heartless bastard who hates babies, here comes one thing I love unconditionally and deeply with all my heart: my dog.

That’s right. The ex kept all my stuff, I’m being sued for way more than I’m worth in money, but I got out with the one thing that counts- no, not my pride (I lost that somewhere between being a feminist and finding myself dependent on a man)- I got the little four legs, one tail and the cutest face you have ever fucking seen.

The dog has been with me through it all– I adopted him just a few weeks after I moved to Israel– and I’ve been there for him through it all– when I adopted him he was scrawny, skinny, scared and sick. We’re growing up together, getting fatter and healthier together. We have so much fun together and we take care of each other.

Along with my parents and a few close friends, he is the one consistent support I’ve had. He sat in my lap when I cried, then he walked by my side when I had to hold my head high in tough situations, and takes nature walks with me in the sun on nice days and we prod each other on the way to work in rain.

Jersey is with me all the time and we accept each other for who we are: I am clumsy, I break things and I am “laxed” when it comes to housework. He eats garbage, he sometimes smells quite foul and his gas is noxious.

He follows his commands to the letter, including “sit”, “give paw”, “lay down” and “roll over” in both Hebrew and English. We take long walks concluding in my favorite command- this one he only knows in Hebrew- “תעשה קקי” or “ta’aseh kaki”, literally translated to “take a shit”. And he does.

Love. Honor. Obey. That’s what I’m talking about.

And so to the claim that dogs are man’s best friend, I disagree.

My puppy is all about me and the feeling is mutual.