My aliyah- my move to Israel- will meet its 5 year mark in September 2009. Hard to believe I’ve been in the holy land, in the holy city, for this long already. It was everything I dreamed of. It was more than I ever dreamed. Sometimes, it was a nightmare.
My life in Israel is vibrant, warm, exciting, fulfilling, hard, lonely, challenging, comfortable, comforting and mine. I have been through a lot. I have built my own family, I have lost love and found love. I got a dog. I have yet to lose my dog and have kept him alive, despite the doubts of some concerned family members (you know who you are- 5 years and the dog is still alive!!!).
The beginning was as hard as they warned. I rose to the challenge. I found work, home, communities, friends, family. I waded through bureaucracy, mean Israeli secretaries whose main goal in life is to prevent you from doing what you need to do, and awful customer service- and I came out on top.
I dated, I married, I left. This week I unwillingly joined the ranks of women in Israel who are being refused a get.
I marched, I organized, I protested, I celebrated, I danced with drag queens.
I sing in a band, I meet new people. I make new connections. I speak fluent Hebrew. I plan to learn Arabic. I make future plans. I want to travel to Thailand.
I love my country. I am proud of my decision, my hard work, and my life I have created. I have learned more in the last year than I even thought possible and I am so strong. I don’t regret a minute of it.
But lately, I feel unsettled. In 5 years I haven’t gotten used to the agressive culture, the constant potential conflict. I feel exausted all the time from the push and shove. Of all the things I learned about independence and the vast multitude of my strength, I also realized the absolute necessity of the proximity family.
When I moved to Israel, I was a young, innocent, self-conscious, naive and bright eyed 22 year old girl. I was at a crossroads. I came to Israel. Now I find myself a young, strong, conscious, experienced 27 year old girl.
I am at a crossroads.
It takes a strong girl to pursue her dreams and make the moves (literal and figurative) that you have… it takes an even stronger *woman* to admit that she has tough decisions to face down.
I may not have seen you in many years, but for the record, I’m proud of you!
Thank you so much!
you know yourself: young, strong, conscious, experienced – and yes you are! You have tremendous strength and I have every confidence in you, at this crossroads and any others you may face. thank you for sharing this.
booooo to the get-givers. huzzah for you! does this mean you’re moving on?? considering new paths? you’ll make it anywhere.